Write Your Own Obituary

In 1000 Words or Less

Celtic Chameleon
7 min readJul 7, 2023

It’s been 35 years or more since I stepped through the heavy wooden doors of St Mary Immaculate in Pollokshaws, Glasgow. Decades since I smelled that evocative incense, dipped my fingers carefully in the holy water font, genuflected and blessed myself and settled onto the wooden pews.

Yet, it’s always there that I imagine a vague shadowy someone speaking my eulogy.

St Mary Immaculate — Wikimedia Commons public domain

Ridiculous, of course. The days of proper funerals are, if not passed, then on the way out. Unless you’re truly wealthy. If a few family members stick me in an urn and shed a tear, I’ll think myself fortunate.

Assuming that I am able to think myself anything. Assuming I am not just gone.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If God don’t get you then the devil must.

created in midjourney by author

But though I may not care upon that fateful day, I do occasionally wonder what people will have to say about me when it’s my turn to leave this vale of sorrows.